Breaks my heart!!

I did the unthinkable tonight... I let Joselyn cry herself to sleep. My heart is broken. Adam is on a business trip in Texas until Tuesday, so I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to "train" her. He needs his sleep, so I figured if I did this while he was away he wouldn't be bothered... or have to go through the heartbreak that I just went through! I tried the 5 minute method... let her cry for 5, pat her and comfort her, add 5 minutes (so cry for 10) so on and so on... adding 5 minutes each time. Here's what happened:

After I fed her at around 10:00 she was really drowsy so I just laid her straight in her crib. I actually thought she would be out for good. But about a minute later she woke up crying... so I decided to let her cry. This was really hard for me... I hate hearing her cry and it's just been a bad week as it is. (I've been going through a terrible absentmindedness phase that is driving me up the wall for starts) I also miss Adam like crazy, and that kind of made it worse. I could only wait 3 minutes before going in to comfort her. I patted her, told her I loved her over and over again and left the room again. She cried another 5 minutes and I went back in the room, did the same thing. Within another 5 minutes she was asleep. Of course I had to check on her to make sure she was still breathing when she stopped crying... and she was. She was sound asleep, her chest rising and falling. It was so hard, but I know it was for the best. Best for her so she can learn to comfort and soothe herself and get herself back to sleep in the middle of the night; Best for me because I will have the peace of mind knowing she CAN comfort herself. I am truthfully not even really concerned about myself. Yes, more sleep would be nice, and I complain when I have to get up in the middle of the night to put her back to sleep, but I really don't mind it in the long run. I rarely feel deprived of sleep. However, these past two nights she was been waking up WAY too much. I've kind of thought she was going through a growth spurt so I've been feeding her more often in the night, but 30 minutes later she is up crying again, wanting to be held. Despite how much I love cuddling with her and feeling good that she is comforted by me holding her, I know that eventually she's going to have to learn to comfort herself in the middle of the night... and so I put myself through heartbreak. Joselyn is usually a pretty fast learner so I hope that she'll catch on fast... I'm having a hard time with this. It really just breaks my heart, and I hate having to go to bed with all these feelings... it's like I'm ending my day on a sad note :( So, wish me luck!